I dunno what on earth this is.

It was supposed to be curved. Really. Reaaaaally. *is shot*

Why is it that I either get curvy stuff that's a horror to draw technically, or boxy stuff so straight it's beyond boring? Ughh.

Crude mock-up is crude. And I forgot to remove the centre piece that's only meant as a stabiliser but meh. Do it tomorrow. I mean later. Blurrr. Plus my room is a miniature rubbish bin right now. I meant gigantic. Gargantuan.

Front:

Side:

See, my poor thing was actually curved T__T Y U NO follow the hand that looks kinda demented blooming outta nowhere with a person sitting on it but never mind that?

I'll have to prepare for outright rejection tomorrow later, most probably. Someone as unobservant as me makes a very bad designer. Lol. Especially of furniture I hardly ever use.

Shoot.

Opening of a new chapter

So. Trimester 3's approaching, and with it looms the end of my life as a foundation student.

I can't say I've been productive during the last fortnight or so, but I've visited many places and took quite a few photos (by my estimation). Was quite fun.

Leaving my hometown for sem 3 is the hardest part methinks. Sigh.

Random: a pair of mushrooms cupping water. Photo taken at Betong Communist tunnel.



To round up this post, here's a doodled collab between me and a friend of mine from uni. Titled it Anomaly cuz we added whatever came to mind and it now defies all sense of logic as we know it. Pfft.



Cheerios.

Realisation

Thinking back, it all started with something pretty mundane; childish, even. Most can claim to have favourite books or authors as a motivator to kickstart their writing passion. I don't have that. Instead what I can claim to have instilled that passion in me was, ironically, not original at all: fan fiction.

So yes, this means I played around with artificial universes and characters not of my own creation. Sometimes I wonder why I hardly dared venture out of this particular sandbox - perhaps apprehension, perhaps an unwillingness to chance the leap - but fan fiction was my main form of expression. It still is, in a way. Fan fiction has a special place in my heart.

Through it, I made many friends who helped me grow, talent-wise (if any smidgeon still exists) and otherwise. I could never thank them enough; because of them, and fan fiction, my writing has grown into what it is today: for once, something I can at least sometimes be proud of.

I will never regret writing.

And for that, I am sorry - sorry for abandoning the one site that was my platform to (somewhat) success. I abandoned FF.net for a myriad of reasons. Generic new fics. No fandom piqued my interest. Time constraints. Et cetera, et cetera.

Well, all that's over now. I'll be going back to revive it in the only way I can - I'll continue writing.

I'm a writer, and I'm proud of it. I should not forget that.

One day, to put my heart into writing...that is my dream - as a writer, an aspirant, a dreamer.

Countdown

Just a little rhyming fun I had whilst doing assignments.

It’s one, tis fun!

It’s two, say boo.

It’s three, be free.

It’s four, have more!

It’s five, beehive.

It’s six, take sticks.

It’s seven, like heaven.

It’s eight, fast freight.

It’s nine, that’s fine.

It’s ten, what then?

...

..

.
Tick, tock; tick, tock...tick.

There's only so much you can do when you're doing a countdown backwards...watch your step in case you fall.

Soothing Pain

Okay, I admit. It hurts. A lot. And this is probably going to turn into an emo post but I'm past caring about facades at this point.

I'm still trying to recover, but recurring events keep pushing me back. Every tiny step I take forward, I get shoved deeper in than I was in the first place. It's tiring; I've lost count of how many times I've mourned my inability to soothe the tumour festering in my soul.

But it's there, and try as I might, cry as I might, I still can't make it go away. It knifes through me like my life's made of butter.

Why am I so weak?

Why is my worst enemy...myself?

I should just let it go. But I can't. And it hurts...so, so much.

私の心は...死んだか?

とても...いたい よ.

よわい.

Enciente.

Sometimes things aren't what they seem.

There are, people say, many things you can hide behind a smile - what they neglect to mention is that many things can be hidden behind a myriad of other, subtle, barely-there nuances in body language, too.

I hate it when a smile means so much more - negatively. Hate. It. There are already so many things that are double-edged; why must something so simple be double-edged too? And then there are other gestures one tries to hide by saying: I'm sleepy, I'm tired; no, nothing's wrong. Excuses! Have you ever thought about what we feel when you deflect it like that? Do you think it's okay? Well, think again. When you push us away it shows your lack of trust...and we're human. It hurts.

Why must there be a difference between looking happy and actually feeling happy? The mask one wears...it tires, it drains, it cracks, it kills, but still we wear it. I wonder why. Or maybe I do not, for the answer lies also within myself.

What shackles us so?

What indeed.

Enciente. Cum passione.